As I already told after the visit to the Naval Museum of Madrid, I read in deep all the documents I could find about the battle of Toulon and the death of James. I haven’t yet published all I learned from history. What most interested me, of course, was verifying my memories, but there weren’t many details. For instance, it was mentioned I rejected the help from the doctor, in particular it exactly said that I only lived long enough “to express the agony he was in, by shaking his head at the surgeon." I could perfectly imagine myself shaking my head, but the complete scene didn’t come to me no matter how hard I tried to remember (as, regardless of what some may claim, one thing is to imagine and a different thing is to remember). It was not specified either if my legs had been completely mutilated or were just disabled due to the damage caused by the famous chain-shot. However, while I was writing my experience in the museum, right here in the blog I wrote that during a self-reiki session (day January 16th, 2017) this happened:
I don’t notice anything unusual during the session, but once in bed I feel an odd pain located near the left knee. One point is situated a bit above the knee, dorsal position. The other point is under the knee. I don’t know why, but I always imagine the tissues of the left knee got completely destroyed, but the leg itself wasn’t severed. The right leg suffered less damage, but it was kind of dangling. It is a pity I will never be able to validate these details. Beside the physical sensations, I also notice some of the emotions that must have accompanied this event, mainly the realization that I couldn’t get up, the thought that I didn’t want to be a cripple, and the knowledge I was going to die.
On Sunday morning several members of the forum I run got together online to do a shared meditation. During the course of this meditation nothing related to my past lives turned up. But the energy movement began to have an unexpected effect at night. As these flashes came to me in that state between wakefulness and sleep, I didn’t give them a complete reliability. I still haven’t learned that this kind of memories are just as accurate or even more than those obtained in a normal regression.
This is what I wrote in the forum the following day:
I went to bed super-relaxed after the meditation/reiki session and started to feel the typical pain of tired legs. The strange thing is yesterday I didn’t walk as much as is usual in me, and besides, it was only in the left leg, from knee to toe, and then at the end it gained intensity in the inner side of the knee. I have always had the suspicion that my left leg turned out to be more severely damaged, as the cannon fire came from the left side and I have always had weird sensations in that knee during my life, nothing serious but as if it were a weak point.
While I was feeling the pain I tried to concentrate to see if something came, ignoring the feeling as I knew it would eventually fade. Then some flashes came to me. The chronicles don’t specify if my legs were completely cut off or were only disabled. From my own intuitions, it was the latter, as the damage done by the wooden splinters would have caused severe wounds but hardly a clean severing. In any case, I could not get up, that is indisputable. I think I could indeed lean a bit on my right leg and then lay on sacks or against the wall, I am not sure. I suppose that at some point I must have seen how my legs looked like, but I don’t think I looked a second time… Of course, I guess that at hearing the explosion and being the captain, many came. I don’t remember anything too clear, but I do feel people around, dismayed, they come and go, shouting, thinking what to do… I suppose. And this is in fact an image that came to me: I think I am already half-conscious, but I see a big wooden case that I suppose belongs to the doctor, and the doctor inclines on my right, and I think I suddenly feel something they want to put on my left leg as a torniquette. No, it is not a belt or anything in the style, but a big, big metal piece, it reminds me the structure of a garrote, that goes just above the knee, and it has some kind of handle to tighten it as a screw. I know I should try to validate this as I am sure I have not seen this anywhere.
When I realize what they are doing I take someone by the arm (I guess the doctor) and tell him no way. I don’t know if I really say something or just shake my head. I think something as: “They’d better help those who really need it or have more chances to survive”. They know this is equivalent to say “Let me die”, but they obey. I think they cover me with a blanket and as we are still in the middle of the battle, I guess I tell them to take up their tasks, and I do think about Frederick, my cousin, as he is the one I transfer my command on before I die. And it is frustrating I can’t remember anything about him (I even get emotional). Then, after I talk to him, I am left alone and gradually start getting cold until I lose consciousness due to the blood loss (which is my very first memory as far as 2012).
More or less that was it. Another piece of the puzzle.
That same day I researched the subject of the torniquette, and then the great surprise came. It is one of those validations that impress you and even make you cry, because it is then that the reality of reincarnation strikes you hard once more. And it doesn’t matter how many years you have been doing this, or how many validations you have in your account, they always shock you.
I googled "18th century leg torniquette" and found this picture:
I can ascertain I had never seen it. It is not in the movie Master & Commander, and I haven’t even started reading Patrick O’Brian books I have bought just to keep honoring James this year.
Real images:
I think we remember just because we can, because we decide to keep the doors open, and, above all, because we never cease to ask questions and request answers to our guides. If you want to know, answers always come, sooner or later. If you don’t want to know, your desire to remain ignorant is respected. I think it is as simple as that.