It is somewhat hard to explain, and now that I am again in the Facebook group "Signs of Reincarnation", reading the same old boring conversations, based on partial and biased research, I realize these sensations are very important when it comes down to assess the reality of reincarnation. It goes way beyond simple memories, we can say it is something subjective, inherent to the subject, and it totally belongs to the psychological sphere of the individual. It is impossible to objectify, but for the one who experiences it, it is another proof that we have lived similar events in other times. As we have had that experience, our reactions are completely different to the ones that have those who live it for the first time, and undoubtedly, following our intuition, we will find different ways for survival. And we will also be able to predict our behaviour, whether or not we will fall into despair, or whether or not the crisis will take out the best of ourselves. When fear is near, I think you soon know the amount of cowardice or courage that runs through your veins. You know what you will be up to do if your life or your loved ones’ is in danger. You soon know if you will go past over anyone’s dead body, or if you will search for solutions that won’t harm your neighbours anymore. In sum, you soon know if you will fight to save your own ass, or if you will defend the weakest.
I guess an entry in this blog about these times we are living can’t be missing. Emotions are running high, and in reincarnationists, this usually takes us to past life mood states and sometimes it even brings us new memories. I haven’t got new memories yet (I haven’t done any serious attempt to meditate anyway), but I do have strange sensations going through my body. It is some kind of déjà-vu, but not the one I consider a real déjà-vu —the one you have when you recognize a place you did visit in the distant past— but that déjà-vu that tells you you were in very similar circumstances in other times, and you are really living the same again, only in a different scenario and with other characters.
It is somewhat hard to explain, and now that I am again in the Facebook group "Signs of Reincarnation", reading the same old boring conversations, based on partial and biased research, I realize these sensations are very important when it comes down to assess the reality of reincarnation. It goes way beyond simple memories, we can say it is something subjective, inherent to the subject, and it totally belongs to the psychological sphere of the individual. It is impossible to objectify, but for the one who experiences it, it is another proof that we have lived similar events in other times. As we have had that experience, our reactions are completely different to the ones that have those who live it for the first time, and undoubtedly, following our intuition, we will find different ways for survival. And we will also be able to predict our behaviour, whether or not we will fall into despair, or whether or not the crisis will take out the best of ourselves. When fear is near, I think you soon know the amount of cowardice or courage that runs through your veins. You know what you will be up to do if your life or your loved ones’ is in danger. You soon know if you will go past over anyone’s dead body, or if you will search for solutions that won’t harm your neighbours anymore. In sum, you soon know if you will fight to save your own ass, or if you will defend the weakest.
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Part 2. Six days after the visit to Auschwitz exhibition I still didn’t know exactly why I was feeling that way. On one hand, there was Katrina. I am perfectly aware I could have ended up in a concentration camp. And if not, I would have ended up like one of those German women raped by the Soviets. For the Nazis I was no more than a weak young lady with some nursing skills they could use in the front. For the Czechs, I had become a traitor. Had I survived until the end of the war, most likely I would have died thrown in a ditch all the same. On the other hand... As I know emotions are quite a direct road to past life memories, I decided to meditate that night. I wasn’t thinking about Fritz at all, so I was surprised by the result. And the regression was quite confusing. Only a couple of things stood out: a gun that usually turns up in my memories as Fritz, and a German word. I have started to meditate today and the only thing that has come to me is my grandfather from my life as Fritz. I always forget that is my Nazi connection, but it is tremendously frustrating for me not to be able to corroborate who he was, the role he played during the war and to what extent it affected me. I have also seen myself gripping a Beretta. Hearing my grandfather caused me anxiety and a lot of anger, I was smoking in his apartment while we were talking, sometimes my mother was also there, she didn’t understand why I used to react that way. But at the end I haven’t gained anything new, and emotions keep being encysted, these ones as much as the ones that might come from my Cathar life, which, after all, it was also a genocide. A German word came to me, something like Rottenkreutz. When, in the course of a regression, words in another language that we don’t understand, come to us, our brain tends to resource to things that are familiar to us, so I tend to anglicize those words. At the following day I searched “Rottenkreutz” but found nothing. So I started to try with other alternatives. I searched “Rosenkreutz” and the nearest thing that turned up was related to the Rosicrucians. Later, I don’t know if that same day or the next, I saw by chance a post in my Facebook with the word “Ritterkreuz”, referring to the Spanish Blue Division. I said to myself: “That’s it, Ritterkreuz!” I looked for its meaning, which I ignored, of course: it refers to the Knight’s Cross of the Iron Cross, the highest award that German military men received for acts of bravery. I always knew my grandfather possessed one of them, apart from many other decorations. The fact I got a German word in a regression seemed to me a signal that I had to research further. And that I did...
Part 1.
The hardest part comes now: to delve deeper into my soul to take out everything I carry inside in regards to World War II and how all that affects me in my current life. I don’t know how far I will get, but at least I try. The visit to Auschwitz exhibition left me with a weird feeling, yes. My partner and I went to have lunch and he already noticed I was quieter than normal, though it wasn’t because the exhibition had notably impressed me. I heard a very young girl very close to me say to her girl friend that she felt about to cry and she didn’t mind doing it now and then for things like that. I also feel like crying... but my tears are of a different kind. I learned quite a lot in the forum Military Past Lives about Auschwitz concentration camp, reading the accounts of people who remembered to have been there as SS guards in a past life, describing with all detail how they used Zyklon B and how they felt doing it, then and now. That makes you reflect a lot, about reincarnation and about life in general, about the role that fell on you and the people around to play. I am sorry to interrupt the thread I was following with my Cathar life (which was in the most interesting part), but current events force me to do so. It usually happens when you remember multiple past lives. On Tuesday, January 23rd, I had the chance to go to the Auschwitz exhibition that will be at Art Canal Exhibition Center in Madrid until mid-June. I recommend it to everyone. Though personally it didn’t impress me too much because nearly nothing of what I saw was new to me, the visit itself did leave me with a weird feeling. Two days later I published a new topic in Foro Reencarnación with a great part of the photographs I took. It was intended to be an objective thread oriented to help people who lived during World War II get verifications, but as usual in these instances, comments that pushed us to delve deeper into the Holocaust from a more personal view, didn’t take long to appear. Reincarnationists that one way or the other was close to it tend to evade this subject. It stirs too many emotions and confronts people joined by a great friendship but who sometimes have very different and irreconcilable pasts. I think talking is good, but that doesn’t mean talking is not painful.
First I am going to focus on the visit to the exhibition. I didn’t live the Holocaust as close as one of the naval battles that were described in the Naval Museum of Madrid, so in that sense the visit was less interesting. But I consider that attending an exhibition of these characteristics is an obligation, as much as watching videos of slaughterhouses or tough images of the current meat industry. You can’t turn your back to reality, you can’t forget the past. And the emotions that got stirred in me have led me to research more about my grandfather in my immediately previous life to this one. I believe I have found out who he is, with a name and a surname. I still can’t say it for certain because it is not completely verified, but perhaps I have taken a step more in this quest. Yesterday I got up and the first thing I read online was a post from a friend in my forum that made me reflect. I confess that, were it not for moments like this, I would have left the reincarnation world, in which people in general only want quick answers. This may end up in two ways: getting disappointed because in my book Pandora’s Box they don’t find “general information” (??) or believing any lie someone told them that makes no sense, for instance that your disincarnated twin soul can be affected by someone watching a film about his past personality and this will manifest in the form of pain in your heart area (real example, seeing is believing). To the rest of people that are tired of hearing so many old wives’ tales, I recommend reading my blog Soy reencarnacionista or joining Foro Reencarnación. We are few, but at least, sometimes, you get up in the morning and you congratulate there are people who think by themselves and, besides, fill you with inspiration to keep advancing.
My friend reflected on the circularity of time, and how in certain moments of life things repeat themselves again, the past comes back to you. It may be the same situation, but now you see things in a different way. And, linking it with reincarnation, she compared it with that instant in which you remember who you really are, which is more than your present self. We always talk of past lives, and especially at the beginning we tend to separate our past selves from our current self. People around doesn’t help either, because they don’t understand what reincarnation consists of, and least of all know what remembering past lives entails. The first thing anyone will tell you is: “But that happened in the past, forget it, now everything is different”. Even my boyfriend, not too long ago, when I was telling him how I felt for having died in a naval battle in 18th century, said to me: “Bah, but that was a long time ago, it can’t affect you”. I could only smile and keep quiet, as I know that he won’t understand, no matter how much I explain it to him. Our past lives are not really past. We say “past” to situate them in a more or less remote time, prior to the current one. That doesn’t mean they are forgotten, nor dead, nor overcome in many cases... and, of course, we haven’t become different persons, nor do we have a “new life”. This is so for everyone, not only for the ones who remember past lives. We think death is some kind of separation between one life and the next, a full point, next paragraph, when in reality it is only a full point. It is having a shower and changing your clothes. When you go out to the streets, it is the world the one that has changed (a little), but you keep being the same. I will surely talk more times about this topic. They were not especially traumatic experiences, but they possess a high emotional content that sometimes —and it keeps surprising me— comes out to light.
I have often wondered what triggers a past life memory. So I am constantly observing myself to elucidate which factors have an influence on it. It seems there is always something in common: usually it is either a thought turned into a mental pattern that predetermines your current way of thinking, or, much more frequently, an emotion. Sometimes this emotion is quite obvious, other times it is harder to identify. I am not very sure what exactly triggered the most recent memory I have had in regards to my life as Fritz. This happened a couple of days ago. I do know what I was doing. On one hand, someone asked me something specific about another one of my past lives, and I spoke to her about how in that life I had not told all the truth to my own family. On the other hand, I was concentrated writing a post for my personal blog concerning veganism. I have been quite active in this regard of late, something I had never, ever, done since I made the decision of becoming vegetarian, nearly twenty years ago. I feel I have to do it, I feel it is the only thing I can do to raise awareness and so, with time, achieve that the world changes for the better. Apparently, being a mistreated wife, veganism and the Berlin wall are not linked in any way. And however... Night came and I decided to meditate. It is rare I see something these days. But in this occasion I started to see something almost right away. I saw myself as Fritz, in first-person view. I saw that I was barefoot, wearing only a pair of boxers, and walking around my home, so I deduced it must have been hot. I could see my well-trained bare legs, my arms (by then I was in good shape), the silver bracelet on my right wrist (a bangle). I saw the same decor, with light, beige shades. And I knew I was nervous, though I didn’t know why yet. In my life as Fritz I was nervous very often. To soothe my nerves I used to smoke cigarettes. Suddenly I noticed there was an argument. Now I was in the upper story, in the double bedroom. My wife was on the bed, wearing an attractive pearl-colored satin negligee. But I can’t stop pacing to and fro. It must be the early hours of the morning, maybe 4 or 5 a.m., and we are arguing because my wife can’t understand I can’t calm down and get back to sleep. Besides, she doesn’t like me to smoke in the bedroom, in case some ashes fall to the carpet, but I can’t help it (and I know we have an ashtray somewhere). I take a deep breath and try to settle, always gazing at the grayish green telephone on my bedside table, on the right side of the bed. It is not the first time I relive a similar scene, in which I find myself a prisoner of anxiety, keeping an eye on the phone... It never rings. However, I think this is not bad per se. It would be worse if they called, because that would mean things have gone wrong. They would be alerting me to take the luggage and leave the country, because if they discover what I am doing, I am in danger... For a few days I've been unable to stop thinking about my latest past life, the Cold War one. I even dreamed I went to Germany and there I met a man who showed me old pictures of soldiers. I didn't identify myself with anyone of them. But I left him my phone number just in case he finds out something. Such a pity he won't call... Yesterday night I did some research. Or at least I tried. Eventually my computer crashed and I lost everything I had found. It wasn't much, but included a few pages in German about something in which I was very interested: the 6941st Guard Batallion of West Germany, that was stationed in Andrews Barracks until 1961, when the construction of the Berlin Wall began. Die Unterbringung erfolgte 1950 bis 1958 in Roosevelt Barracks, in der ehemaligen Gardeschützenkaserne. Im Jahre 1958 wurde die Einheit nach Andrews Barracks, der früheren Lichterfelder Kadettenanstalt, verlegt, wo sie bis zum Bau der Berliner Mauer im Jahre 1961 stationiert blieb. |
AuthorMy virtual name is Eowyn. I have been researching and experiencing reincarnation since 2011. This blog is only a tiny fraction of the result. Categories
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