More than once I have felt as if I were living inside a movie during these long months of 2020. The drama is in its high point, it is the moment of salvation through the vaccines that they have fabricated in record time to fight against a nonexistent pandemic, and in order to convince us they show us actors and actresses in the television who joyfully accept to get them, ignoring their serious secondary effects, including death. And if they can’t convince us, then they try to impose the vaccination on us using coercion and threats, as they have already tried to do with health workers, who, of course, must be an example of solidarity and responsibility.
This year I can say I have been quite entertained with my business, so I have been spared of feeling anything similar to past life mood. As I have been describing in my previous entries, I have had indeed multiple reasons to recall my past lives, but they have remained by my side, without interfering in my present, like partners supporting me in my own personal challenges, but staying aside. August was always a delicate month and I barely noticed it. I had a quiet vacation during which I rested from the mundane concerns of my work. December has arrived and I can’t say the same anymore. I keep being an incredulous witness of what is happening around me, and I can’t help feeling like Katrina in her last Christmas in Prague, the prelude of a time of darkness that would take us to our deaths.
More than once I have felt as if I were living inside a movie during these long months of 2020. The drama is in its high point, it is the moment of salvation through the vaccines that they have fabricated in record time to fight against a nonexistent pandemic, and in order to convince us they show us actors and actresses in the television who joyfully accept to get them, ignoring their serious secondary effects, including death. And if they can’t convince us, then they try to impose the vaccination on us using coercion and threats, as they have already tried to do with health workers, who, of course, must be an example of solidarity and responsibility.
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I am still immersed in this crazy plandemics time that has fallen to me. The tide of disinformation that constantly comes to us doesn’t leave me with a lot of space to breathe. That, together with the management work for my business, is the reason I barely have several minutes a day to stop, do yoga, connect with myself and observe what is going on inside me. I have noticed that in the moments of greater imbalance, the prevailing emotion is fear. Fear to be unable to face future, frightening events. Fear to become paralyzed, to be like Katrina again, a brave young woman with enormous will to fight, but one that sees herself overtaken by the coldness and evil she witnesses. Luckily, this feeling passes quickly. Who knows how all this will end, but it is clear that, for now, this has nothing to do with a real war like World War II.
So, those who say they had to perform war medicine in the hospital make me laugh. Yes, sure… this is the same as the Battle of Somme in 1916. Or just the same as seeing your warship destroyed by gunfire and the surgeon attending dozens of sailors bleeding to death at the same time, amputating legs and arms right and left. They are called heroes and they believe it, it is impossible to be more stupid and ignorant. But… we live in a childish society, so I wonder why I get surprised. Apart from that, I have the feeling this stage is my trial by fire, as I was saying to a reader of my other blog, Soy reencarnacionista, just a few minutes ago. I have many times wondered why I have recalled all these past lives, why now, and for what it is been useful for me. I feel as if those lives are converging just in this moment, as if now were the perfect point for its continuation. However, I don’t believe I have to continue anything, to be honest, as I don’t believe there are good or bad decisions. Life doesn’t consist of doing always the right thing or making the best of decisions, but rather of just living and analyzing the consequences, because whatever you did, you will always learn something. I rather think that what I learned in each and every one of those lives is being useful for me right now, and that is the reason I recalled them, because I needed that information to know much better what I must do now. I am often asked what is the purpose of reincarnation, which for me is like asking what is the purpose of life. It is easy: the purpose of life is TO LIVE. It is to experiment life. We reincarnate because it is a natural and physiological phenomenon, inherent to life itself: we are born, live, die, keep living in the spiritual world, are born, live, die, and so on to infinity or until one wants to.
However, getting a bit deeper on the reincarnation process, it seems emotions are an essential part. We do not only have to experience the physical life, we also have to feel it, with all the intensity that is possible. Perhaps that is why, during the manifestation in the physical world, we are equipped with an astral body, which, according to some esoteric teachings, is the one most closely related to emotions. I don’t think this is a coincidence. I have always thought the spiritual world is the equivalent to a place for reflection, where we theorize about all the aspects concerning human beings. But to truly learn, it is indispensable the practical part, the application of those theoretical principles to real life. And that is why there is a physical plane in which we plan the experiment, build the theatre and dramatize our roles, chosen beforehand. And in order to everything to be perfect and credible, it is fundamental we feel it that way, we must even have the illusion that there is only one life and it ends with death. Dear me… it is months since I last wrote and when I do, the subject is a bit tough… There is a reason for this, obviously. I live a double life, and in that other life I can neither reveal nor openly talk about things that happened to me in the distant past, I would be labeled as crazy. So, I must keep quiet. But I can’t keep quiet forever, and when I need to shed weight, I do it here, where not many people read what I write and those who do know what I am talking about.
When you commit yourself to vegan activism, sometimes there is no other choice but to talk about death, murders, sentient beings that want to live and the minimum we must do to help them, really help them. And here you suddenly find yourself, in the middle of an argument with someone who claims vegans must advocate regulations of animal slavery. In order to illustrate my position, I say that is the same as being opposed to death penalty and demand someone should be executed by lethal injection rather than in the gallows. Whatever the method used, there is not a humane way of killing someone. However, although it is hard to believe, there are some “animal rights supporters” (alleged defenders of animal rights) who think that using and killing animals with no suffering is an advancement we vegans have to celebrate. There are days I can’t get over my amazement. These last days I have had in mind that woman that left me a comment in Pandora’s Box Amazon page, complaining I spoke too much about Nazi past lives. Yes, that’s the way it is. I suspect many people come to reincarnation searching for the same type of comfort they already sought in religions. It is not by chance that the belief in reincarnation is present in Buddhism or Hinduism, and depending on the life you happen to live now, the possibility of returning in a new body can seem to you attractive or a real curse. But I don’t speak of beliefs. I talk about past lives we all can remember, and for better or worse, the world will always be the one we create with our actions. The world will be hell if we insist on doing evil. We, not God nor the Devil nor a “universal law” that regulates the rewards and punishments we human beings must receive. And so, the vast majority of people that remember past lives, remember all kinds of disgraces: traumas, deaths, rapes and wars, in both bands. A past life is as real as the present life, and we rarely live easy lives.
Sometimes we even kill ourselves. When we research reincarnation, it is usual we find this idealized vision of what recalling past lives means: lessons to learn, souls you meet again, a lot of love and pink unicorns. Such a superficial view is still frequent in the Spanish-speaking world, as shows this video I recently found. It is normal, this is what sells. People don’t like hearing about trenches, mass graves, mass shootings, Holocaust victims or Nazis that commit suicide. People in general think we all are good souls and none would become involved with certain atrocities nor would have the idea of killing oneself. I used to think the same. So, as many others I have known on the way, when you remember past lives, you have to pass through a darkness you had never imagined, you have to face your shadow and assimilate we all have a luminous side and a dark side. We never know how we can react to certain circumstances. As I always say in my books, the path of self-discovery is just that: it is not an easy path, but if you reach the end, it is then you find real enlightenment. The rest are just illusions. I write this on December 25th, 2018. The day is about to end. Fortunately, in this time of my life Christmas goes by in a quite quiet and austere way, and it is free from any desire that goes beyond sharing my time with my loved ones, remembering those who returned home (human as well as non-human) and appreciating what I have, which is no mean feat. There is not even gift exchange anymore, as we already give gifts to each other the rest of the year. And, at least from my part and my partner’s, there is no blood spilt on our plates. Hypocrisy, as least as possible. I feel really fortunate I can keep away from the Great Feast of Consumerism.
This morning the yoga routine was intended to open the chest. This means to expand the heart, activate the fourth chakra or Anahatha to release those emotions that might have remained stuck, no matter when. This time I didn’t feel the effects immediately, during the final position or Savasana, but after some time, after having lunch, I began to feel desires to cry again. The reason is the leaving of a life partner who was with me nothing less than seventeen years.
She decided to go on June 15th, only two days after my partner and I left her with my parents to travel to the coast. We were doubting up until the last moment whether we should go or not, but her medical condition, quite stable despite the seriousness, during the previous few weeks, didn’t foreshadow the unfortunate outcome. We were not expecting it, we truly were not expecting it, despite the fact that for the last seven months of her life we already knew she was walking on a tightrope and she could abandon us any day. However, she waited… she waited until we were far, because —I suppose— she wanted to save me the upset. I think I would do the same for my loved ones. In fact, that is what humans do as well when the moment is near, according to the accounts of many witnesses. |
AuthorMy virtual name is Eowyn. I have been researching and experiencing reincarnation since 2011. This blog is only a tiny fraction of the result. Categories
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