I have been writing a short story and I couldn't think of a better way to finish it that describing a scene of a trial and an execution in the future. And no, I didn't do so by chance. It is partly a reflect of how I feel in general in regards to reincarnation: alone, misunderstood, isolated... I am not going to say without anyone listening to me, because that is not true, but there are indeed very few people around me who really know what I am talking about. For better or worse, these people are always faraway and our lives don't cross as much as I'd like. So, even though the contact through the internet somewhat mitigates that feeling, running into each other almost every day in the forums helps a lot, and they could even collaborate in Pandora's Box... well, it's not the same as going out to have a cup of coffee face to face and talk with them at length. In real life, I see myself condemned to silence, as the protagonist in that story. On the other hand, the thing about trials and executions are still recurring themes in my past life memories, and it never does harm to write about it to release certain emotions... and I certainly did. I felt yet again as years ago when I used to write my fiction novels, without having conscious memories yet, and "connected" with that part of me that stored past ife emotions. I would begin to notice that the story was affecting me too much to be "a simple story". And back then I limited myself to think I was a particularly sensitive woman. How innocent can we be sometimes...
Then, a day would pass and I would begin to speak about my new avatar in one of those forums, which is no other than Jaqen H'ghar, the character from the famous saga Game of Thrones. The main reason to choose it, at first, was that I was developing my Theory on Time and Simultanoeus Lives. One of the sentences Jaqen says is "Death is certain. The time is not”. I completely agree with this, as I don't believe in preplanning, at least not to the point our deaths are scheduled. We all know we are going to die, but we don't know when. I also think time is subjective, so neither is "certain", it depends on our perception. Apart from this, Jaqen was always one of my favorite characters, and being locked up in a barred cart reminded me so much of myself as Roderic in 14th century Ireland. But further on I realized there were many more reasons for that choice: his interest in death, his membership in some kind of secret brotherhood devoted to dispense death by criteria that don't seem to depend on human justice, his ability to transform himself and be apparently other people, as we do when we reincarnate... I started to look for pictures for my mobile phone, and here I am, suddenly realizing that there is something in him that attracts me so strongly, I almost feel like I am in love with him. But after all the experience I have with past lives, I realized it wasn't that I was falling in love. What happened is that I was feeling myself as Roderic in him and I was regretting so much I was killed in the gallows instead of staying alive to become a man like him. In his eyes I could distinguish the suffering that was in my eyes in those last days... and also the wisdom that perhaps I would have achieved had I made other decisions. I was feeling the typical longing many reincarnationists feel for a past time, for not being those we were anymore.