I have kept this life virtually secret during years. I have mentioned some other detail in the forums but I have never spoken in deep about it, though my contempt for religions have always been more than obvious. The main reason is that some of the facts I remember suggest that at the heart of the Church was taking place a battle more typical of the book Angel and Demons by Dan Brown rather than reality. And obviously, not only am I interested in conveying some credibility in my words, but I don’t want to rush either and assume some memories are real without having validated them before, at least partially. However, many of us know reality is always stranger than fiction. And while this is a life that turns out quite hard to verify because it is a very old life that deals with matters that had to be kept secret, in unorthodox sources I have found more than a sign that my memories are perfectly plausible. Even so, although I have decided to speak about them, they must always be analyzed with caution.
Besides, there is a secondary reason for which I haven’t talked much about this life so far: I belonged to a secret brotherhood and I took a vow of silence. Almost five hundred years later, breaking that silence still feels like breaking an oath, something that shouldn’t be done. This, that seems foolish, also happens to many other people who remember past lives. My theory is that oaths give rise to strong mental patterns which, together with emotions, remain engrained in our souls and may keep affecting us in the next lives. It is not that the Universe can punish you for breaking that oath or that promise you made to someone. Just as in the case of karma, what matters is what you create with your mind, what you believe is right and wrong. We ourselves become prisoners of our own emotions and thoughts. If you want to get rid of something that binds you, it is you and you alone the one that has the power to break those chains, whenever you want. It seems I don’t feel any kind of attachment to that vow of silence anymore. And perhaps this is also related with a certain hostility towards the Catholic Church and religions in general that I have felt almost since I was born and now seems to be subsiding —though I can’t say it has disappeared completely.
I will speak of these episodes in future posts.
What remained after all that is a love still alive for the figure of Jesus (not Jesus Christ) and a great disrespect for all those who hold the power in the ecclesiastical institutions and use religion as a means to control human beings. I have never been able to put up with hypocrisy, but it affects me even more if it comes of those who claim to act in the name of God. Maybe this is because obeying the commandments and torturing people or burning alleged witches at the stake is totally incompatible. And that, for me, is still unforgivable. My tolerance for the followers of the Catholic sect is zero, because I can’t forget the past. And also because, perhaps, having failed in its annihilation and be witness of how they keep deceiving the masses, keeps hurting me deep inside.