I have been remembering past lives since December, 2011. The great majority of people who remember past lives come and go in internet forums. Perhaps they participate with intensity for a while but eventually it is usual they set aside the subject of past lives, more or less voluntarily, and you lose contact with them. Very few are like me: after nearly five years I keep being very active, I keep my blogs updated and I keep collaborating in forums. Every once in a while someone turns up who shares very similar experiences to yours, and that is always a breath of fresh air. It encourages you to carry on, because, when day after day you see the overall picture concerning reincarnation in the internet, and you witness of how nothing changes, nothing evolves, and in very few occasions the subject is addressed with the rigor and seriousness that it deserves, usually you start to feel suicidal. All right, maybe not suicidal, but you do feel like hiding in your lair, shut up forever, and never again speak of past lives to anyone. It is rarely worth.
Because, at heart, I think: who may care about what I lived a hundred years or four centuries ago? Who cares about how I felt back then, how I feel now and how I have come to find out the reason behind all those feelings? Who cares who I was in my past lives? For what should I tell my woes, my defects, the mistakes I made in the past? Not only writing and publishing something moderately decent already requires an effort that not everyone can carry out, doing it I also take the risk of opening old emotional wounds every time I dive into my past. Like I said in the blog’s Manifest, I have my reasons to do it, and it is something mainly personal, but sometimes that is not enough. Why not leave my past life journal as it is and forget about the whole matter? Why bother and keep fighting?
Well, the truth is there is someone who may care: those who remember. For them I leave this reminder here, to know why I keep writing, why I keep sharing my experiences and the little I know of reincarnation. Because I found myself so alone when I started off, that all the serious information I can leave out here is scant, for all those who will come, for all those who I know read in silence.
It was funny when someone left me a comment in my blog Soy reencarnacionista the other day, one I didn’t publish, of course. It said, very eloquently: “????”
Why does someone bother leaving a comment like that? I already know the blog is not for everyone, I say it in several places of the blog, with different words and different colors so that it doesn’t go unnoticed, but sometimes it seems there is no language in the world you can use to be understood by people. If you don’t believe in reincarnation or you are not interested in remembering past lives, why do you come to my blog? If you have something to tell me, why don’t you say it clearly? If there is something I have learned in all these years, is that the best thing you can do is talk only with people that have gone through the same as you. The rest are on a different wavelength, and no matter how much you explain it to them, they won’t be able to understand.
So, it is a pleasure when suddenly I meet people in the forums that I had never known before, but started to remember in a very similar way as I did. People who also believe, for example, that one of their soulmates is their spiritual guide now. Or people who are perfectly aware PTSD can overcome the frontiers of time and stem from past lives. Or people who, like me, lost their soulmate in many consecutive lifetimes and today they wonder about the same things I wondered about five years ago. Or people who, not even asking them, show interest in helping me to validate my memories, or who ask me how I am doing today, because they know past life mood strikes some of us hard this time of the year.
Not long ago I was talking with a forum mate about the first times I posted my memories in Military Past Lives. It was some kind of torture. It was like leaving my past life journal exposed for all to see. It was like leaving all my weaknesses exposed. You always think you are going to be judged, they are going to think you are crazy, you feel ashamed... and all this with people who believe in reincarnation and remember past lives, of course I would never do this with other type of readers. I have always been very shy and it was not easy at all for me to open up that way, confess I had been hanged or I had killed a man in past lives. Then you see not only that nothing happens, but also that someone writes to you privately and says “THANK YOU”. Or you tell something and you suddenly see that many felt the same way or lived similar things. Suddenly you realize you are not alone. You see that out of fifty people who read your message, only one dares to talk, but you know there are many others to whom it was useful. And that is what gives the meaning to everything I write.
It is for them I am still here, not for anyone else.